I Want To Be Like My Jesus

MY JESUS - TODD AGNEW

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like you Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus! 

I hear this song frequently. Todd Agnew has amazing songs that I go back to frequently and several really touch my heart. This is heavy on my heart today.

Who do we serve? Who do we REALLY serve? The church today is a mess. We are soooo focused on how we look, how we act, whether or not someone say's hello to us. Concerned about whether or not we will be embarrassed by friends, family, acquaintances. And all of this at the expense of lost souls!!!!! I'm getting tired of it. It's breaking my heart. I look at myself and I'm embarrassed by my behaviors, actions, thoughts of the past and even in the present. How I treat others. How I react to others. I PRAY that I get the heart of Jesus. The heart to love unconditionally.

I recently had a friend share something that was life changing. I knew that my thoughts, actions, etc. were self-centered but I couldn't understand it enough to stop it. But then she reminded me that by obeying the Spirit and following His lead I am not betraying myself and how I feel. BINGO! That is it exactly. I felt like I was betraying myself. I never put it in those terms but when she said it it was like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. If I am following HIS leading I'm not betraying myself because myself it living like HIM!

I am was a part of this MESS in the church today. I am was a contributor. But no more! My life is about my walk with Jesus. To reach the hurting, to touch the sick, to hug the lonely. My life is to bring others to Christ to know the unconditional love of a heavenly father that loves me regardless of what I do or say. My life is to stop for the on in front of me and help someone in need. My life is to love unconditionally. My life is to live in discomfort because I am giving of myself for the Kingdom.

My life is to put all I have into LAMb International and serve the missionaries, to help the seniors, to love on the orphans, to touch and hug the disabled men. My life is to find funding for the team, to find supporters for the projects, to find sponsors for the orphans and those who need sponsors.

My heart aches DAILY for those who we met in Kyrgyzstan. My heart aches DAILY for those that LAMb is serving. My heart aches for every missionary struggling to find support to do the work that God has called them to do. My heart aches for those who can't be doing the work because we aren't doing the tent making here FOR them.

I don't know where to start. Yes I do...on my knees in prayer. On my knees in prayer with my husband. His heart is heavy as well. We need to act. We need to do. We just plain need.

I am broken. April broke me . . . like never before. I guess you can say I finally got it. I finally looked beyond ME and my discomfort and my needs and just gave all that I had to those I came in contact with. It's not about what we have here in this world. Our comforts. Our possessions. It's about serving the King of Kings and reaching the lost for His Kingdom. I want to be like my Jesus . . . He wasn't embarrassed or afraid . . .

How can you help? Please pray. Please consider sponsoring a child, senior, disabled man. Fund a project. Send monthly support to a missionary. Just give of yourself and look to HIM and not to yourself.

Simply - be like Jesus . . .

Kim

How Time Passes

I'm amazed at how quickly time passes.  So much has happened since I last wrote on my blog.  I have come to realize that I have allowed everyday life take me further and further from the experiences I had in Kyrgyzstan. I want to remember. I want to feel.  I want to do.  I MUST figure out how to balance my life activities better in order to do the Kingdom work that I am called to do.  I need to change my priorities even in the midst of all of the change that is going on around me.

Today a young missionary to Kyrgyzstan put this in her blog:

 "it is easier to be ignorant and say I don't know about the problem. But once you know, once you've seen it in their eyes, then you have a responsibility to do something. There is strength in numbers, and if we all work together as a team, we can be unstoppable." -Craig Kielburger


I quickly realized that she was talking to me.  Reminding me that what we experienced in Kyrgyzstan and what God is doing in our lives is helping us reach our goals; To Serve Him and reach the lost, the hurting, the orphans, the widows.

Randy and I MUST stay focused and not allow the world to sink back into our ways of thinking.  We are not the same as we were before our trip.  Our mindset has changed but what I realized is that it is so easy to let the World take back over.  This is why is it sooooooooo important that we support our missionaries.  They MUST stay in the mission field!  They MUST stay focused.  The world can just take over and distract us.  They MUST stay focused on the Kingdom work that they are called to do.  My heart aches.  Where is the support?  Where is the passion?  How can we stay ignorant?  You don't have to travel to the ends of the world to see those eyes.  Look at the missionaries pictures . . . look deeply into the eyes of the orphan.  Into the eyes of the senior.  Into the eyes of the man and the lady.  Each and everyone of them has a story to tell. Hurt that needs healed.  A hunger that needs fed.  A need that needs met.  Trust me . . . the missionaries can ONLY do what is needed by being there and not here.  I have heard their cries.  They don't want to be here they want to be there.  We have a responsibility to support the missionaries.  We are responsible to SEND them.  They are responsible to do the work with the support that we give them.

Can you continue to be ignorant?  Look at these pictures . . . look into their eyes . . . just try to imagine their story . . .

Bondservant: “Devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests.”

Cry of my heart . . .

Bondservant (copied from The Bondservant website):

The best definition here is “devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests.” On its basic level a bondservant is simply following your master to complete disregard of your own will, emotions, desires.

To put it into contrast of being a Bondservant of Christ, it means a complete and utter devotion to God, His word, and His will.  It is disregarding your own desires and will in all things to lay your life at the Cross and follow Christ.  It is not being perfect, yet it is a dedication to following God in all things.

A Bondservant is to love as Christ loved; to walk as Christ walked.  It means standing strong when you are weak and have nothing left.  It means not letting up, giving up, or putting up with anything less then a true and full releationship with God as a friendship and partnership through this world, doing His will.  Being a Bondservant is Standing strong on the Word of God while seeking God first, above all else.  Everything is secondary to your relationship with Him.

This past weekend Randy and I had the opportunity to visit a church whose pastors we've had the privilege of meeting and being in services where they were ministering.  They are anointed.  Their church is anointed.  The few times that we have visited their Sunday services we leave feeling refreshed and blessed.  This past Sunday was no different.

Although we only got to hear the introduction to Pastor Sander's message "Are You a Bondservant of Christ?" I couldn't but help think about missions and the missionaries that give of themselves for the Kingdom of God.  They can be the true examples of a bondservant - someone who is simply serving the King of Kings, giving of themselves sacrificially, someone who has died to themselves and realizes it's not about them but about the Kingdom work that we as Christians are ALL called to do.

I have had the honor of sitting around the table listening to the cries of missionaries hearts.  The cry that resonates to the core of their soul - to help just one person, show them the love of Jesus, and introduce them to the Kingdom of God.  But first they need to meet the personal needs of the one standing in front of them who is hungry, needs medical treatment, needs a home to get off the street, needs help with addictions that is consuming them.  But with these needs comes the need for resources - money, expertise, labor, etc.  These missionaries use up their personal savings, income, energy to just serve.  THEY NEED OUR HELP!  They need our prayers.  They need our giving.  They need our words of encouragement.  I have seen the tears when they are tired, worried, overwhelmed.  I have hear their cries when they don't think they can take another step, when their hearts break when it is time to return to 'normal life' knowing that there is sooooo much more to be done, so many more needing help.  Sometimes now knowing when they can return.

I have never really understood until these last few weeks when God began to open up my eyes to see their needs, my ears to hear their cries, and my heart to hurt for them and especially those that they are trying to serve.

I ask that you take time to pray for the missionaries who give of themselves sacrificially.  Pray for their strength, that their needs are met, that their energy is renewed each day.  I have seen first hand that it is non-stop - each and every day.  The end is near, they feel it in their bones, they are urgently trying to do the Kingdom work that is still yet to be done.  Send them a note of encouragement; let them know you are praying for them, share a verse, and kind word.  You never know if it is exactly what they need to hear at that moment.  Pray about sponsoring them and supporting the people they are serving. Give sacrificially to allow them to do the Kingdom work on your behalf.  You have NO idea how far even $10 can go to make a difference in the life of someone.

Yes, missionaries are the true example of a Bondservant.  God, please bless each and everyone of them.

Praising God for a Changing & Breaking Heart,

Kim

They replied, "Seven loaves, and a few small fish."

In Matthew 15:34 Jesus asked the disciples "How much bread do you have?"  they replied, "sevel loaves, and a small few fish." 


WHAT?  ONLY this to feed the multitudes, the thousands that are hungry?  The thousands that are seeking something from a man who brings hope for a future, dignity to the poor, health to the sick, peace to the hurting?

The other day, one of the LAMb missionaries posted a blog with all of the needs that they have facing them personally and the LAMb team in general.  Surgeries, home for transitional teens, Dayspring sponsorship's, orphan sponsors, senior sponsors, training supplies, travel needs, the list goes on.  Want to see what I mean:  Act of Kindness.  Take a look.  It can feel overwhelming.  But the needs are legitimate.  Can you imagine how much this weighs on the hearts of the LAMb team to want to help, to want to make things just a bit better, to bless those they come in contact with?  It takes support.  Support from those of us here in the comforts of our North America homes where we have SOOOOO much more than those in these third world countries, those who live with unstable governments, those who see there is so much more to be done in their own country if only they had a little help to get started.

Today I was talking with a friend about Randy and I going to an adoption conference this weekend to represent LAMb.  My heart is heavy with the burden to find support.  It hurts not knowing how to get the word out.  My prayer each time we do this is to reach a heart of an individual, a pastor, someone that sees that they can do something to help support a missionary team and make a difference in the life of someone whom they may never meet.  She mentioned that she wishes and prays for the day when they have the money to support missions.  I realized instantly that we so often don't even realize that $10 a month can make a BIG difference.  Why?  Because one $10's here and another here comes to $20.  Maybe someone can donate $20 a month or more and then the support goes up!  We start to meet the needs that we mention because one person realized that their $10 DOES make a difference.  Look at the boy and the seven loaves of bread and a few fishes . . . Jesus didn't scoff and such a small amount when faced with the thousands . . . He multiplied the givings and fed the thousands.  God still works in the land of miracles.  He hasn't stopped since Jesus went to be in heaven with Him.

I want to get the word out that $10 a month to help an orphan, senior or a family in need will grow.  It will grow and those who give will be blessed.  God doesn't look at the amount, He looks at the giver and the deepest part of their heart and blesses them for helping those in need.

Please DON'T EVER think that $10 can do nothing . . . if ONLY you knew what God can do with that $10!!!!!

Be blessed my friend!

Kim  

The Old Man in the Store

I was in the Honda dealership this morning to have my car AC looked at - it's blowing hot air - not a good thing.  And no . . . it wasn't hot air coming from me!  I'm waiting for the call to tell us how much.  God is in control and whatever it is, it is.  We will survive.

But that isn't the purpose of this blog, it's about the man I 'met' in the dealership storeroom.  I had to wait for the shuttle driver to return from his previous run to take me to work.  As I waited I looked around but couldn't but notice an older man sitting in a chair waiting for his car to be ready.  Based on how he was dressed and looked I imagined him to be someone who was used to be up early to get things done.  Probably a farmer in his younger years.  Maybe getting ready to have breakfast with his buddy's at a local diner.  He had a nice smile and seemed very pleasant.  I thought several times as I paced around the new cars that I really should say something to him.  Lots of times, elderly and the disabled are ignored and not spoken to. Unlike a good looking man or woman who people want to interact with.  I am trying to change that about myself.  The stories they can tell.  I want to learn to enjoy them.  I want to truly listen and engage and make it about them and not about me and what may make me uncomfortable.  Kyrgyzstan has done that for me.  The seniors at Kemin who just want to talk, the men at Iskra who have said 'Thank You for touching us and treating us with dignity' - people shun them, ignore them, afraid of them - they are just like us . . .

So, I finally said to myself 'Kim here's your chance to make a difference'.   Finally after five minutes I took a real close look (from a small distance) and thought "he isn't moving".  I causally moved to the other side to get a different look at him and casually evaluated him, and thought "he is't blinking".  Something wasn't right here.  I began to worry.  Do I just leave with the shuttle driver and let someone else deal with this?  I did said to him, "so you are waiting for your car as well?".  No answer.  Then I made my decision.  With determination but not panic to cause undo attention, I sprinted to the service manager.  I called him aside from a customer and asked about the man sitting in the showroom.  We were within eyesight of the man and I was cautious not to make it totally obvious to the man that we were talking about him.  The service manager just smiled and said "that is your shuttle driver, didn't he come to get you?"  I was like "no, the older man sitting over there.  He isn't moving and isn't blinking."  The service manager reiterated "That's your shuttle driver".  I replied again, "no the older man sitting there".  Keep in mind this man was sitting in the showroom when the manager took me up there to look for the driver.  All of a sudden the manager started laughing.  The older man was actually a practical joke on the owner of the dealership several months back and their little 'friend' has remained in the showroom to create conversation for those who have come in.  They have had '911' called, someone try to break the glass to get to him to get him assistance, and many many other stories.  The older man is actually an amazing amazing 'dummy' that is so lifelike that it is almost impossible to realize he isn't real.

I laughed it off, took some pictures, and proceed on to work when the real shuttle driver arrived.  But what I did realize is that I am changing. I took the time to at least talk to this man who seemed pleasant and interesting.  And who I was sure had stories to tell.  Well . . . he does but he can't tell them.

I also took action and went to get further assistance.  What if he had truly expired?  What if I had just left him sitting there without getting him help.  I am proud of myself.  Proud that God is changing my heart for those who others may not want to engage with.  Not proud actually . . . thankful.  Thankful that God is giving  me a compassionate and caring heart and spirit.  I know I keep saying this but I can't wait to go back to Kyrgyzstan.  I want to just sit with the seniors and hear their stories and talk about their lives, their dreams, their wants.  I want them to know that someone from another country loves them but more importantly that GOD loves them.  I want to spend time with the men from Iskra and experience new things with them like the man in the wheelchair that had the FIRST ever opportunity to feel the spray from a waterfall on his face because his buddies and the LAMb team CARRIED him up the hill/mountain to the falls.  I want to talk to the orphans and hear about their dreams for the future and pray that I can help find the resources to help them make that dream come true.  I want to do more . . . I want to be God's hands, His Feet, His mouth.

Back to 'Normal' Life

Based on my phone, it's been 33 days since our departure date for Kyrgyzstan.  I wish it was since we arrived in Kyrgyzstan and that we were still there.

Randy and I are back into our normal schedule finally this week after a few crazy weeks doing things out of the normal since we returned back to North America.  Our return this time is different.  I definitely know it is for me and I can tell in lots of ways it is for Randy as well.  A day doesn't go by where I don't think about the people we met in Kyrgyzstan.  I can still feel the hugs from the Girls of Dayspring, see the years of experience in the eyes of the seniors of Kemin, the need to be accepted from the disabled men in Iskra, the eagerness to share culture from the families of the Village of Kemin, the disbelief on the faces of the staff at medical centers and orphanages when they receive a donation from foreigners that they can't afford to do on their own (basic medical supplies included!!!!!!!!!).

This time to leave was VERY hard and I don't think many days go by that I don't tear up and feel the loss of separation from those that I met.  (nice . . . tears and I'm sitting in a public restaurant . . .)  This is REALLY different from last year.  My heart is breaking.  I want to do more.  I want to make a difference.  But I don't know how.  What is needed takes money to support those who are there working, those who want to move there permanently but don't have the resources.  The monies to purchase more space for the national staff to work from and to manage the activities going on in Kyrgyzstan, the monies to purchase a home to rescue transitional teens who are aging out of the orphanages and if they don't get rescued will only have a 1/3 chance of survival.  THIS IS OVERWHELMING!!!!  I feel this burden like never before.  I feel this burden for the LAMb team as they see the needs and try to figure out HOW to do it all.  If my heart is breaking just imagine how they are all feeling . . . they know the orphans at risk of being abandoned to the streets, the families that are struggling to survive - they know the faces, they know the potential if only they just had a little help.

What can we do?  We can continue to pray - pray that God opens up the floodgates in this wonderful country. Pray that the LAMb team is blessed and anointed to do His work.  We can also get the word out.  We can find sponsors willing to support a child, a senior, a family, a disabled man on a monthly basis.  We can go to adoption conferences to talk about LAMb, we can find churches that want to hear more about A World without Orphans, we can find organizations that want to know how to help an orphanage or a medical clinic that has nothing including basic supplies.  We can do this but how to start?  I don't know but time to take that to prayer as well.  God is changing us.  He is changing our hearts.  We want to listen.  We want to obey.  We are seeking for our purpose here on this earth . . .

This blog may be a bit rambling or confusing but it is my heart.  It is some of what I am thinking and feeling now that we are back.  I can absolutely say that I am forever changed and I'm 99.9999999% sure that Randy is as well . . .

His vessel to be used,

Kim

Home

We are home and getting back slowly into our normal routine.  Randy took off for Arizona as soon as we got home for a business trip - second time in ten years - and I headed back to Michigan.

Jet lag has not been my friend so I am still getting to bed early and up early.  This weekend we are here in Michigan for my niece's softball games at Eastern Michigan then we head home together and I get to be home for a week while working at one of our plants!  Excited for all!!!!

There is still so much we need to blog about regarding our trip.  Randy and I will work on it this weekend.  We want to tell you the stories.  The stories need to be told.

For now, I have attached a video that we shared at church on Sunday.  A photo recap of our trip.  It's hard to share what we experienced but we want to try.  Enjoy!

Blessings!

Randy & Kim

Blogging!

I know I am behind in my blogging.  The last two days here have been a blur and tiring - I think emotionally tiring.  We leave in about four hours.  Bright and early at 2 a.m. for a LONG day of traveling.  I figure we will arrive back home no earlier that 1 a.m. Saturday morning.  Then we hit the road running at 8 a.m.

During our travels home I will see about blogging about our last days here and over the weekend I will provide a wrap up.

Leaving this year is tough.  Saying bye to the Girls of Dayspring is heartbreaking.  Just as I was getting to know them . . .

Until we return!

Randy and Kim

There Are NO Accidents!

Today (Tuesday) was a day set aside to visit a few area hospitals and medical clinics to deliver more of the 100 stethoscopes that were donated by Kindred Hospital of Tuscon though Aunt Johanna & Uncle Don.

We started out with a visit to the baby orphanage where the babies stay until they are 4 years old and then they are moved to a different orphanage.  We met the director who told us that they are still celebrating Easter with children programs.  We got to see part of their celebration and singing - what a joy that was!  They even sang the Hokey Pokey - but in Russian!  What fun to watch them ham it up for us, smiling, laughing, and just having plain fun.

We then said 'Take us to the baby hospital' - well, lot's of the time when they say that they go to one particular hospital.  Not this time . . . we ended up at a clinic that the team hadn't visited before.  What was an initial 'accident' turned out to be a blessing.

This clinic treats people of all ages but specifically expectant mothers and children.  They pointed out that their chairs needed replaced - soviet era seating (in their words), old, tattered, worn, and just plain uncomfortable.  This includes all of the offices, examining rooms, and waiting areas.  They have NO computers!

When mom & Lynn introduced themselves the director realized that this was the group they had heard about helping in other areas of the town.  She was honored that we were there.  They honored us by providing a traditional Kyrgy coffee and snack.  The hospitality here NEVER ceases to amaze me!  I honestly thing we can learn a thing or two!  We also found out that it was the director's birthday and we sang 'Happy Birthday' to her!

As we left, mom and Lynn asked what they needed and they mentioned the seating in the waiting area and examining rooms.  They also said they could use a computer.  No promises made ... we would pray about it and it would be brought to the different sponsor's attention and see what happens.  We walked out knowing that we were in the right place at the right time.  No accident here!  We were supposed to be here!

We left and within 30 minutes Zuhra called them back to see if the director would be there in the afternoon for a delivery of ten chairs.  We needed to show them that we heard their cry.  We needed to show them that we truly are who we say we are - here to help.

They were amazed - someone really does care.  A little gesture of caring does go a long way.

Again, the journey continues . . .

Wonderful day with the seniors!

Today was a day that I was looking forward to even before we left for Kyrgyzstan.  It was the day that we went and spent time with the seniors at Kemin!  We started our day at 9:30 a.m. to pick up final groceries and 15 roasted chickens, picked up tons of clothing that were donated from the Netherlands, picked up around 15 people and in one vehicle we were off and running to Kemin.

When we arrived we unloaded the bus to the delight of the seniors.  They will have a blast going through all of the clothes and items that were donated.  They also were proud to show us that they had finished the renovations in their entry room and living room.  What a beautiful job they have done!

While the food was being prepared the seniors all gathered together in the living room and had a short program for us.  They sang, danced, played the spoons, etc.  It was sooo delightful to watch them enjoy their talents and to share them with us.  At the end, the LAMb team gathered together and sang a few songs while mom & Lynn played their ukuleles.  Lynn ended the time sharing from the Word.

Before we ate, the seniors were given a new pair of spring/summer slippers.  Thank you donors for your support!  You helped up buy the slippers and the food for dinner.  We really appreciate being able to have you join us this way!

Dinner was exciting!  They don't get much food so they always enjoy getting the chicken that the team brings along.  We cooked peas & corn, rice & chicken.  Served it to them and honored them.

As the visit came to a close we cleaned everything up for them and said our goodbyes.  Before we left, we then delivered some C.S. Lewis books to one of the ladies that has some serious health issues and is bedridden.  She was delighted and wondered when we could bring her more.  Pray that she get's better!

As we left we looked into the snow covered mountains and reveled in God's glory.  Spring is here and some of the hills that had snow when we arrived are now looking green.  A new season is arriving . . . a new hope for tomorrow is as well.

We came to bless but what always ends up happening is we are the ones blessed . . .