Sorry So Long - time since last posting and blog length!

WOW - I just looked at my blog and realized it has been FOREVER since I have posted!!!  I wish I could keep it up but when I am in my every day life mode I don't think about blogging since I don't think I have much to share.  I need to think about this and see what I can do!

Anyway, a lot has happened since I have posted.

First, I started a new job!  After 17 years with the same company and took a huge risk and jumped into consulting!  I LOVE it and have no regrets making this change.  I love working with different people, different companies, different places in the country.  I love flying but could do with the weekly travel woes that I have experienced but it comes with the territory!!!  I just go with the flow and not let it get to me.  Knowing that I have a loving husband to come home to every week is my reward! 

To have my husbands unrelenting support is invaluable!  I have learned to never take it for granted.  People wonder how we can do it and have done it for so long (since 2001 with me commuting out of town every week).  First and foremost, there is respect and trust between us.  We trust each other.  Second, we communicate.  We talk EVERY evening and pray before going to bed.  We also 'talk' during the day - a text here and a text there.  We do everything possible to stay connected.  The weekends we do things together and love the time that we do have!  We are also thankful for the work that God has given us and the opportunities that our lifestyle gives us - travel, people, etc.  Thankful for jobs that we love.  Thankful for each other.  We realize that this type of lifestyle isn't for everyone but then others lifestyle isn't for us.  It's where God has us and is using us.

Another change we made this past year was change churches.  This wasn't an easy decision.  We had been with the church since it's start and were in leadership.  It was a long time coming and wasn't made quickly but we knew when the time came to make the change it was the right thing to do.  It wasn't easy and we learned a lot through the process.  We wish we could have done a few things differently through the process and are sadden by some things but we don't regret the decision we ultimately made.  Lots learned that's for sure.  I am still saddened about the loss of friendships but I understand.  When we left that was one of the risks we took.  Feelings were hurt.  :(

It's not that our former church was bad, it just wasn't the 'structure' that we were wanting.  We don't believe in church hopping; we believe people need to be grounded in a church.  God brings you to a church for a purpose.  But sometimes He will also move you on somewhere else to show you something different.  Is He going to use this as more training for future use in our work for the Kingdom?  I believe so - in so many ways!

Anyway, God has led us to a wonderful church. The church is a 'come as you are' church, reaches out to folks in rehab, ministers to the homeless, has a passion for adoption and orphan care, believes in foreign missions, pastor that is not afraid to admit he is human, vibrant worship, eager to learn congregation, and real people who get to share the pulpit and preach what God has placed on their hearts.  They are also a supporter of LAMb and have done fundraisers for Dayspring Family Life Resource Center in Kyrgyzstan.  Also, it is where missionaries with LAMb attend and we didn't even realize that until we went there the first time!  The church is STRONG believers in foster care and adoption.  The passion and compassion for others that I am learning is amazing and refreshing.  I can see how I can use this learning on the mission field!  I'm excited to see how God is going to use us and changes us through this church.

Randy is teaching a Sunday school class that regularly has 18 people in it.  We are viewing Andy Stanley's "Twisting the Truth" sermons for a second time.  The discussions and what people are learning are wonderful and the new people that join us is refreshing.  I'm looking forward to see how God uses Randy and his passion for teaching in the future.  This church is hungry for teaching and learning!  I still need to find my nitch.  I think it's time that I reach out to the pastor and see where I can be used.  He has given us a lot of space to rest and be refreshed.  He and the leadership have been sensitive to our need for space and we have appreciated that!  But we can't be complacent and dormant!  We need to proceed and do the work of God!!!!

On the mission front, we both want to do more for LAMb International here in the states.  We want to travel to adoption conferences and promote their mission, help raise funds for the team, find sponsors for the different programs and projects they are supporting, anything possible to raise awareness for a World Without Orphans!  We plan on going back to Kyrgyzstan this fall/winter.  We miss it and miss not being there this Spring.  We miss the girls of Dayspring, the seniors at Kemin, and the men at the home.  We miss the people and the friends we made during our previous trips.  We miss serving and doing foreign Kingdom work!  Please pray for us to find our place in missions.  We don't know where God wants us and how He wants to use us.  But, while here in the states we can raise awareness and we want to figure out how to do that with excellence.

Anyway, that's where we are right now.  We are both lovin' life and the adventures that God is taking us through and can't wait for the next step!

Blessings!

Kim & Randy


Few pictures from our trip last year ... Can't wait to return!!!!

 

I Want To Be Like My Jesus

MY JESUS - TODD AGNEW

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like you Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus! 

I hear this song frequently. Todd Agnew has amazing songs that I go back to frequently and several really touch my heart. This is heavy on my heart today.

Who do we serve? Who do we REALLY serve? The church today is a mess. We are soooo focused on how we look, how we act, whether or not someone say's hello to us. Concerned about whether or not we will be embarrassed by friends, family, acquaintances. And all of this at the expense of lost souls!!!!! I'm getting tired of it. It's breaking my heart. I look at myself and I'm embarrassed by my behaviors, actions, thoughts of the past and even in the present. How I treat others. How I react to others. I PRAY that I get the heart of Jesus. The heart to love unconditionally.

I recently had a friend share something that was life changing. I knew that my thoughts, actions, etc. were self-centered but I couldn't understand it enough to stop it. But then she reminded me that by obeying the Spirit and following His lead I am not betraying myself and how I feel. BINGO! That is it exactly. I felt like I was betraying myself. I never put it in those terms but when she said it it was like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. If I am following HIS leading I'm not betraying myself because myself it living like HIM!

I am was a part of this MESS in the church today. I am was a contributor. But no more! My life is about my walk with Jesus. To reach the hurting, to touch the sick, to hug the lonely. My life is to bring others to Christ to know the unconditional love of a heavenly father that loves me regardless of what I do or say. My life is to stop for the on in front of me and help someone in need. My life is to love unconditionally. My life is to live in discomfort because I am giving of myself for the Kingdom.

My life is to put all I have into LAMb International and serve the missionaries, to help the seniors, to love on the orphans, to touch and hug the disabled men. My life is to find funding for the team, to find supporters for the projects, to find sponsors for the orphans and those who need sponsors.

My heart aches DAILY for those who we met in Kyrgyzstan. My heart aches DAILY for those that LAMb is serving. My heart aches for every missionary struggling to find support to do the work that God has called them to do. My heart aches for those who can't be doing the work because we aren't doing the tent making here FOR them.

I don't know where to start. Yes I do...on my knees in prayer. On my knees in prayer with my husband. His heart is heavy as well. We need to act. We need to do. We just plain need.

I am broken. April broke me . . . like never before. I guess you can say I finally got it. I finally looked beyond ME and my discomfort and my needs and just gave all that I had to those I came in contact with. It's not about what we have here in this world. Our comforts. Our possessions. It's about serving the King of Kings and reaching the lost for His Kingdom. I want to be like my Jesus . . . He wasn't embarrassed or afraid . . .

How can you help? Please pray. Please consider sponsoring a child, senior, disabled man. Fund a project. Send monthly support to a missionary. Just give of yourself and look to HIM and not to yourself.

Simply - be like Jesus . . .

Kim

How Time Passes

I'm amazed at how quickly time passes.  So much has happened since I last wrote on my blog.  I have come to realize that I have allowed everyday life take me further and further from the experiences I had in Kyrgyzstan. I want to remember. I want to feel.  I want to do.  I MUST figure out how to balance my life activities better in order to do the Kingdom work that I am called to do.  I need to change my priorities even in the midst of all of the change that is going on around me.

Today a young missionary to Kyrgyzstan put this in her blog:

 "it is easier to be ignorant and say I don't know about the problem. But once you know, once you've seen it in their eyes, then you have a responsibility to do something. There is strength in numbers, and if we all work together as a team, we can be unstoppable." -Craig Kielburger


I quickly realized that she was talking to me.  Reminding me that what we experienced in Kyrgyzstan and what God is doing in our lives is helping us reach our goals; To Serve Him and reach the lost, the hurting, the orphans, the widows.

Randy and I MUST stay focused and not allow the world to sink back into our ways of thinking.  We are not the same as we were before our trip.  Our mindset has changed but what I realized is that it is so easy to let the World take back over.  This is why is it sooooooooo important that we support our missionaries.  They MUST stay in the mission field!  They MUST stay focused.  The world can just take over and distract us.  They MUST stay focused on the Kingdom work that they are called to do.  My heart aches.  Where is the support?  Where is the passion?  How can we stay ignorant?  You don't have to travel to the ends of the world to see those eyes.  Look at the missionaries pictures . . . look deeply into the eyes of the orphan.  Into the eyes of the senior.  Into the eyes of the man and the lady.  Each and everyone of them has a story to tell. Hurt that needs healed.  A hunger that needs fed.  A need that needs met.  Trust me . . . the missionaries can ONLY do what is needed by being there and not here.  I have heard their cries.  They don't want to be here they want to be there.  We have a responsibility to support the missionaries.  We are responsible to SEND them.  They are responsible to do the work with the support that we give them.

Can you continue to be ignorant?  Look at these pictures . . . look into their eyes . . . just try to imagine their story . . .

Bondservant: “Devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests.”

Cry of my heart . . .

Bondservant (copied from The Bondservant website):

The best definition here is “devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests.” On its basic level a bondservant is simply following your master to complete disregard of your own will, emotions, desires.

To put it into contrast of being a Bondservant of Christ, it means a complete and utter devotion to God, His word, and His will.  It is disregarding your own desires and will in all things to lay your life at the Cross and follow Christ.  It is not being perfect, yet it is a dedication to following God in all things.

A Bondservant is to love as Christ loved; to walk as Christ walked.  It means standing strong when you are weak and have nothing left.  It means not letting up, giving up, or putting up with anything less then a true and full releationship with God as a friendship and partnership through this world, doing His will.  Being a Bondservant is Standing strong on the Word of God while seeking God first, above all else.  Everything is secondary to your relationship with Him.

This past weekend Randy and I had the opportunity to visit a church whose pastors we've had the privilege of meeting and being in services where they were ministering.  They are anointed.  Their church is anointed.  The few times that we have visited their Sunday services we leave feeling refreshed and blessed.  This past Sunday was no different.

Although we only got to hear the introduction to Pastor Sander's message "Are You a Bondservant of Christ?" I couldn't but help think about missions and the missionaries that give of themselves for the Kingdom of God.  They can be the true examples of a bondservant - someone who is simply serving the King of Kings, giving of themselves sacrificially, someone who has died to themselves and realizes it's not about them but about the Kingdom work that we as Christians are ALL called to do.

I have had the honor of sitting around the table listening to the cries of missionaries hearts.  The cry that resonates to the core of their soul - to help just one person, show them the love of Jesus, and introduce them to the Kingdom of God.  But first they need to meet the personal needs of the one standing in front of them who is hungry, needs medical treatment, needs a home to get off the street, needs help with addictions that is consuming them.  But with these needs comes the need for resources - money, expertise, labor, etc.  These missionaries use up their personal savings, income, energy to just serve.  THEY NEED OUR HELP!  They need our prayers.  They need our giving.  They need our words of encouragement.  I have seen the tears when they are tired, worried, overwhelmed.  I have hear their cries when they don't think they can take another step, when their hearts break when it is time to return to 'normal life' knowing that there is sooooo much more to be done, so many more needing help.  Sometimes now knowing when they can return.

I have never really understood until these last few weeks when God began to open up my eyes to see their needs, my ears to hear their cries, and my heart to hurt for them and especially those that they are trying to serve.

I ask that you take time to pray for the missionaries who give of themselves sacrificially.  Pray for their strength, that their needs are met, that their energy is renewed each day.  I have seen first hand that it is non-stop - each and every day.  The end is near, they feel it in their bones, they are urgently trying to do the Kingdom work that is still yet to be done.  Send them a note of encouragement; let them know you are praying for them, share a verse, and kind word.  You never know if it is exactly what they need to hear at that moment.  Pray about sponsoring them and supporting the people they are serving. Give sacrificially to allow them to do the Kingdom work on your behalf.  You have NO idea how far even $10 can go to make a difference in the life of someone.

Yes, missionaries are the true example of a Bondservant.  God, please bless each and everyone of them.

Praising God for a Changing & Breaking Heart,

Kim

They replied, "Seven loaves, and a few small fish."

In Matthew 15:34 Jesus asked the disciples "How much bread do you have?"  they replied, "sevel loaves, and a small few fish." 


WHAT?  ONLY this to feed the multitudes, the thousands that are hungry?  The thousands that are seeking something from a man who brings hope for a future, dignity to the poor, health to the sick, peace to the hurting?

The other day, one of the LAMb missionaries posted a blog with all of the needs that they have facing them personally and the LAMb team in general.  Surgeries, home for transitional teens, Dayspring sponsorship's, orphan sponsors, senior sponsors, training supplies, travel needs, the list goes on.  Want to see what I mean:  Act of Kindness.  Take a look.  It can feel overwhelming.  But the needs are legitimate.  Can you imagine how much this weighs on the hearts of the LAMb team to want to help, to want to make things just a bit better, to bless those they come in contact with?  It takes support.  Support from those of us here in the comforts of our North America homes where we have SOOOOO much more than those in these third world countries, those who live with unstable governments, those who see there is so much more to be done in their own country if only they had a little help to get started.

Today I was talking with a friend about Randy and I going to an adoption conference this weekend to represent LAMb.  My heart is heavy with the burden to find support.  It hurts not knowing how to get the word out.  My prayer each time we do this is to reach a heart of an individual, a pastor, someone that sees that they can do something to help support a missionary team and make a difference in the life of someone whom they may never meet.  She mentioned that she wishes and prays for the day when they have the money to support missions.  I realized instantly that we so often don't even realize that $10 a month can make a BIG difference.  Why?  Because one $10's here and another here comes to $20.  Maybe someone can donate $20 a month or more and then the support goes up!  We start to meet the needs that we mention because one person realized that their $10 DOES make a difference.  Look at the boy and the seven loaves of bread and a few fishes . . . Jesus didn't scoff and such a small amount when faced with the thousands . . . He multiplied the givings and fed the thousands.  God still works in the land of miracles.  He hasn't stopped since Jesus went to be in heaven with Him.

I want to get the word out that $10 a month to help an orphan, senior or a family in need will grow.  It will grow and those who give will be blessed.  God doesn't look at the amount, He looks at the giver and the deepest part of their heart and blesses them for helping those in need.

Please DON'T EVER think that $10 can do nothing . . . if ONLY you knew what God can do with that $10!!!!!

Be blessed my friend!

Kim  

The Old Man in the Store

I was in the Honda dealership this morning to have my car AC looked at - it's blowing hot air - not a good thing.  And no . . . it wasn't hot air coming from me!  I'm waiting for the call to tell us how much.  God is in control and whatever it is, it is.  We will survive.

But that isn't the purpose of this blog, it's about the man I 'met' in the dealership storeroom.  I had to wait for the shuttle driver to return from his previous run to take me to work.  As I waited I looked around but couldn't but notice an older man sitting in a chair waiting for his car to be ready.  Based on how he was dressed and looked I imagined him to be someone who was used to be up early to get things done.  Probably a farmer in his younger years.  Maybe getting ready to have breakfast with his buddy's at a local diner.  He had a nice smile and seemed very pleasant.  I thought several times as I paced around the new cars that I really should say something to him.  Lots of times, elderly and the disabled are ignored and not spoken to. Unlike a good looking man or woman who people want to interact with.  I am trying to change that about myself.  The stories they can tell.  I want to learn to enjoy them.  I want to truly listen and engage and make it about them and not about me and what may make me uncomfortable.  Kyrgyzstan has done that for me.  The seniors at Kemin who just want to talk, the men at Iskra who have said 'Thank You for touching us and treating us with dignity' - people shun them, ignore them, afraid of them - they are just like us . . .

So, I finally said to myself 'Kim here's your chance to make a difference'.   Finally after five minutes I took a real close look (from a small distance) and thought "he isn't moving".  I causally moved to the other side to get a different look at him and casually evaluated him, and thought "he is't blinking".  Something wasn't right here.  I began to worry.  Do I just leave with the shuttle driver and let someone else deal with this?  I did said to him, "so you are waiting for your car as well?".  No answer.  Then I made my decision.  With determination but not panic to cause undo attention, I sprinted to the service manager.  I called him aside from a customer and asked about the man sitting in the showroom.  We were within eyesight of the man and I was cautious not to make it totally obvious to the man that we were talking about him.  The service manager just smiled and said "that is your shuttle driver, didn't he come to get you?"  I was like "no, the older man sitting over there.  He isn't moving and isn't blinking."  The service manager reiterated "That's your shuttle driver".  I replied again, "no the older man sitting there".  Keep in mind this man was sitting in the showroom when the manager took me up there to look for the driver.  All of a sudden the manager started laughing.  The older man was actually a practical joke on the owner of the dealership several months back and their little 'friend' has remained in the showroom to create conversation for those who have come in.  They have had '911' called, someone try to break the glass to get to him to get him assistance, and many many other stories.  The older man is actually an amazing amazing 'dummy' that is so lifelike that it is almost impossible to realize he isn't real.

I laughed it off, took some pictures, and proceed on to work when the real shuttle driver arrived.  But what I did realize is that I am changing. I took the time to at least talk to this man who seemed pleasant and interesting.  And who I was sure had stories to tell.  Well . . . he does but he can't tell them.

I also took action and went to get further assistance.  What if he had truly expired?  What if I had just left him sitting there without getting him help.  I am proud of myself.  Proud that God is changing my heart for those who others may not want to engage with.  Not proud actually . . . thankful.  Thankful that God is giving  me a compassionate and caring heart and spirit.  I know I keep saying this but I can't wait to go back to Kyrgyzstan.  I want to just sit with the seniors and hear their stories and talk about their lives, their dreams, their wants.  I want them to know that someone from another country loves them but more importantly that GOD loves them.  I want to spend time with the men from Iskra and experience new things with them like the man in the wheelchair that had the FIRST ever opportunity to feel the spray from a waterfall on his face because his buddies and the LAMb team CARRIED him up the hill/mountain to the falls.  I want to talk to the orphans and hear about their dreams for the future and pray that I can help find the resources to help them make that dream come true.  I want to do more . . . I want to be God's hands, His Feet, His mouth.

Back to 'Normal' Life

Based on my phone, it's been 33 days since our departure date for Kyrgyzstan.  I wish it was since we arrived in Kyrgyzstan and that we were still there.

Randy and I are back into our normal schedule finally this week after a few crazy weeks doing things out of the normal since we returned back to North America.  Our return this time is different.  I definitely know it is for me and I can tell in lots of ways it is for Randy as well.  A day doesn't go by where I don't think about the people we met in Kyrgyzstan.  I can still feel the hugs from the Girls of Dayspring, see the years of experience in the eyes of the seniors of Kemin, the need to be accepted from the disabled men in Iskra, the eagerness to share culture from the families of the Village of Kemin, the disbelief on the faces of the staff at medical centers and orphanages when they receive a donation from foreigners that they can't afford to do on their own (basic medical supplies included!!!!!!!!!).

This time to leave was VERY hard and I don't think many days go by that I don't tear up and feel the loss of separation from those that I met.  (nice . . . tears and I'm sitting in a public restaurant . . .)  This is REALLY different from last year.  My heart is breaking.  I want to do more.  I want to make a difference.  But I don't know how.  What is needed takes money to support those who are there working, those who want to move there permanently but don't have the resources.  The monies to purchase more space for the national staff to work from and to manage the activities going on in Kyrgyzstan, the monies to purchase a home to rescue transitional teens who are aging out of the orphanages and if they don't get rescued will only have a 1/3 chance of survival.  THIS IS OVERWHELMING!!!!  I feel this burden like never before.  I feel this burden for the LAMb team as they see the needs and try to figure out HOW to do it all.  If my heart is breaking just imagine how they are all feeling . . . they know the orphans at risk of being abandoned to the streets, the families that are struggling to survive - they know the faces, they know the potential if only they just had a little help.

What can we do?  We can continue to pray - pray that God opens up the floodgates in this wonderful country. Pray that the LAMb team is blessed and anointed to do His work.  We can also get the word out.  We can find sponsors willing to support a child, a senior, a family, a disabled man on a monthly basis.  We can go to adoption conferences to talk about LAMb, we can find churches that want to hear more about A World without Orphans, we can find organizations that want to know how to help an orphanage or a medical clinic that has nothing including basic supplies.  We can do this but how to start?  I don't know but time to take that to prayer as well.  God is changing us.  He is changing our hearts.  We want to listen.  We want to obey.  We are seeking for our purpose here on this earth . . .

This blog may be a bit rambling or confusing but it is my heart.  It is some of what I am thinking and feeling now that we are back.  I can absolutely say that I am forever changed and I'm 99.9999999% sure that Randy is as well . . .

His vessel to be used,

Kim