Missions and the life of a consultant

Today was my last day at the clients site in Buffalo.  It was a sad day. I am a relationship oriented person. I establish connections with those I work with.  I focus on building relationships. When I leave it can be hard. These folks are my friends.  They have depended on me to help them, I have depended on them to let me know how I can help. What's even harder is that I think there is more I can do there but the decision makers are moving me to a different location - not even sure what I am going to be doing next.

I'm finding out this is the life of a consultant.  I enter their lives for a short period of time then I move on.  Different city, state, even possibly country.  Different client, people, culture.  They continue in their daily lives trying to learn a new system, on to a new project, whatever the situation is.

Have I made a difference? Have I made a mark?

These are the same feelings I have experienced during my two missions trips. We come in, bring money to use, gifts to give.  Often worth more than a moths salary, in some case even a years worth.  We pray we can make a difference.  We pray we can make an impression.  But have we? What do they see I us? Do they see Gods love? Do they see that there is a Savior to bring them through? Do they see Him and not us?

We have been blessed to become board members of LAMb International, USA.  It is an honor but I feel inadequate.  I have NO IDEA HOW TO DO MORE.  How can we help to raise funds to help meet the needs that the missionaries come across? How can we raise funds to help them be come more full time?  How can we make a difference for the Kingdom of God? Where is our place?  What are we to be doing?  How can we get more motivated?

I am perplexed.

I see what the missionaries do.  The energies they exude, the resources they exhaust.  I see how tired they get, how overwhelmed they are.  They want to do more but sometimes the energies and resources elude them.

The burdens are great. People are hurting, suffering, crying out for just a chance to survive.  Children are abandoned, abused, forgotten. And the missionaries see all of this. Experience all of this.  They carry this burden late into the evenings, in the early mornings.  Crying out to God to show them how the can do it, take the next step, meet with the next person, conduct the next training.  Many times feeling like they are alone in this eternal battle. A battle for souls. All for free, all to make a difference in the Kingdom.  All without complaining.

This week Randy and I will join them at a conference in Nashville.  A conference focused on children.  On orphans.  Focused to bring us together to figure out how we can make this a World Without Orphans. How we can make a difference in the life of an abandoned child?  Around two thousand like minded Christians in one place.  Will we find our calling?  Will we figure out our role?  I don't know but I hope so.  I don't like not knowing.  Not knowing feels like a failure.  Feels like I am letting them down.

My prayer?  Please pray for these missionaries.  They are once again giving of themselves to shine light on the plight of the worlds abandoned children. The orphans that feel forgotten.  Left to fend for themselves.  Please pray that God uses them to touch one person who in turn will change the life of a forgotten orphan, to make that child realize they aren't forgotten.

My prayer for this week?  For God to show us how He can use us.  To help us not make an impression for just a moment but for a lifetime.  To make a difference in the life of a missionary.  To make an eternal difference in the life of an orphan. To make a difference in the life of the hurting. To make a difference in the life of the forgotten.

Both Randy and I feel a calling on our lives. We just don't know what it is. We want God to reveal himself to us. To show us what He has planned.

Anyway, there's my heart today. Sitting in an airport headed home ... To pack and head out tomorrow to the conference, into the unknown, wondering .....

Blessings,

Kim

Sorry So Long - time since last posting and blog length!

WOW - I just looked at my blog and realized it has been FOREVER since I have posted!!!  I wish I could keep it up but when I am in my every day life mode I don't think about blogging since I don't think I have much to share.  I need to think about this and see what I can do!

Anyway, a lot has happened since I have posted.

First, I started a new job!  After 17 years with the same company and took a huge risk and jumped into consulting!  I LOVE it and have no regrets making this change.  I love working with different people, different companies, different places in the country.  I love flying but could do with the weekly travel woes that I have experienced but it comes with the territory!!!  I just go with the flow and not let it get to me.  Knowing that I have a loving husband to come home to every week is my reward! 

To have my husbands unrelenting support is invaluable!  I have learned to never take it for granted.  People wonder how we can do it and have done it for so long (since 2001 with me commuting out of town every week).  First and foremost, there is respect and trust between us.  We trust each other.  Second, we communicate.  We talk EVERY evening and pray before going to bed.  We also 'talk' during the day - a text here and a text there.  We do everything possible to stay connected.  The weekends we do things together and love the time that we do have!  We are also thankful for the work that God has given us and the opportunities that our lifestyle gives us - travel, people, etc.  Thankful for jobs that we love.  Thankful for each other.  We realize that this type of lifestyle isn't for everyone but then others lifestyle isn't for us.  It's where God has us and is using us.

Another change we made this past year was change churches.  This wasn't an easy decision.  We had been with the church since it's start and were in leadership.  It was a long time coming and wasn't made quickly but we knew when the time came to make the change it was the right thing to do.  It wasn't easy and we learned a lot through the process.  We wish we could have done a few things differently through the process and are sadden by some things but we don't regret the decision we ultimately made.  Lots learned that's for sure.  I am still saddened about the loss of friendships but I understand.  When we left that was one of the risks we took.  Feelings were hurt.  :(

It's not that our former church was bad, it just wasn't the 'structure' that we were wanting.  We don't believe in church hopping; we believe people need to be grounded in a church.  God brings you to a church for a purpose.  But sometimes He will also move you on somewhere else to show you something different.  Is He going to use this as more training for future use in our work for the Kingdom?  I believe so - in so many ways!

Anyway, God has led us to a wonderful church. The church is a 'come as you are' church, reaches out to folks in rehab, ministers to the homeless, has a passion for adoption and orphan care, believes in foreign missions, pastor that is not afraid to admit he is human, vibrant worship, eager to learn congregation, and real people who get to share the pulpit and preach what God has placed on their hearts.  They are also a supporter of LAMb and have done fundraisers for Dayspring Family Life Resource Center in Kyrgyzstan.  Also, it is where missionaries with LAMb attend and we didn't even realize that until we went there the first time!  The church is STRONG believers in foster care and adoption.  The passion and compassion for others that I am learning is amazing and refreshing.  I can see how I can use this learning on the mission field!  I'm excited to see how God is going to use us and changes us through this church.

Randy is teaching a Sunday school class that regularly has 18 people in it.  We are viewing Andy Stanley's "Twisting the Truth" sermons for a second time.  The discussions and what people are learning are wonderful and the new people that join us is refreshing.  I'm looking forward to see how God uses Randy and his passion for teaching in the future.  This church is hungry for teaching and learning!  I still need to find my nitch.  I think it's time that I reach out to the pastor and see where I can be used.  He has given us a lot of space to rest and be refreshed.  He and the leadership have been sensitive to our need for space and we have appreciated that!  But we can't be complacent and dormant!  We need to proceed and do the work of God!!!!

On the mission front, we both want to do more for LAMb International here in the states.  We want to travel to adoption conferences and promote their mission, help raise funds for the team, find sponsors for the different programs and projects they are supporting, anything possible to raise awareness for a World Without Orphans!  We plan on going back to Kyrgyzstan this fall/winter.  We miss it and miss not being there this Spring.  We miss the girls of Dayspring, the seniors at Kemin, and the men at the home.  We miss the people and the friends we made during our previous trips.  We miss serving and doing foreign Kingdom work!  Please pray for us to find our place in missions.  We don't know where God wants us and how He wants to use us.  But, while here in the states we can raise awareness and we want to figure out how to do that with excellence.

Anyway, that's where we are right now.  We are both lovin' life and the adventures that God is taking us through and can't wait for the next step!

Blessings!

Kim & Randy


Few pictures from our trip last year ... Can't wait to return!!!!